Nice to meet you!

Nice to meet you, my name is Tamara.
And I start like this, being different from the name. Okay, nowadays not so different, but so, and without stress.
And though my name is not that common, the directions that my life is taking are... a lot.
Alone, by myself, sole. In solitude I start the story of a glorious life. A lifetime of present friends, accomplished dreams, smiles at dawn. By myself here I am. And at this point I don't know exactly who I should call friend, and it's not also that obvious who I dedicate my friendship.
The other day I was reflecting about my childhood... An internal talk, crazy, from who knows that miss the past only because the past is not the present. And it doesn't mean that the past had been wonderful, complete and beautiful... it's just it is past, and us, as nostalgic declared, have to magnify it - although big are just the dusty cobweabs of the past.
So funny I feel a nagging 90 years old when, in fact, I am not even a third of it. It's the sciatic that hurts, the head that failures, the heart that is petrified. Who said that the head things don't manifest on the body? Here I am as a proof that it's true. By the way, I am the proof of all findings that were necessary to create the Murphy's Law. Yep, I am exaggerated.
I get kind of dizzy to see myself abandoned, when I was the target of so many smiles in my directions - yes, being a teacher has its advantages -. So pathetic to see as people take different paths in life, as the time goes. More pathetic is feeling stuck when, apparently, all the rest of the world is walking...
It's time to walk then. Of love or hate, whatever. Bigger feelings won't move me anymore. I've promissed. Pos-graduations, superficiality, calculated movements, contained acts, false crying and laughing in the corner of the mouth. No cleavage, no talon, no gun in my mouth, no naturality. I'll become the girl that everyone calls NORMAL, and I'll say goodbye to the libidinous creature, egocentric, questioning and complex that I've created in myself. Purchased standards, to have one day, proud daddy, own house and car of the year, I can, finally say: "Today is my day".

--

I don't think so... I guess I will never be that one...
May I start it again?

... Nice to meet you, my name is Mary... afterall, even on TV was already said... Today is Mary's day...!